it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
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Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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