absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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