that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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