Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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