Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
