i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
