PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I need water and some morals
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
