well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
