My first STD was from a foam party
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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