do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
