Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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