why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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