its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
