Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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