I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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