I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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