We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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