You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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