There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
