do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
