i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
