You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
