Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
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Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
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I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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