sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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