oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
