Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
