My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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