Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
