I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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