I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize