I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
