Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize