i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
