It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
