i already hear my dad disowning me
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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