At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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