I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just cropdusted the office
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm like, not good at living.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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