Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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