Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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