Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
