How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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