Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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