so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
