I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
