Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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