isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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