I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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