Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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