I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
