I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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