If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs speak an international language.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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