If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
All I want is dick and wine.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
