Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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