NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
