I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
