I CAN MOONWALK!
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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