More tranny stories later!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
