So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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