Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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