I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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