Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my being single is dangerous.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
